What is this AMAZING Tech Product?

Ethan: Hila, did you know that you can use the Alexa to order shit? It’s so cool. Hila: No. How do you do that? Ethan: Alexa, can you buy me some baby wipes? Amazon Alexa: Amazon’s choice for ‘sex lubricant’ is personal lubricant, water based- Ethan: Alexa, stop, that’s not baby wipes! Alexa: The top search result for ‘giant vibrator sex toy’ is- Ethan: Alexa, that’s not baby wipes, stop! Alexa: Amazon’s choice for ‘extra-large condoms’- Ethan: Stop, stop! That’s not baby wipes! Alexa: Would you like to buy? Ethan: NO! Alexa: The top search result for ‘giant black [censored]’ is [unintelligble] yodeling pickle. (????) I also found Jeff Dunham: Unleashed in Hollywood. Ethan: ALEXA, STOP! Alexa: …metal clamps with chain deluxe silver metal toy clamp and adjustable butterfly design. Would you like to buy? So I’ve added it to your shopping list. Would you like to buy? Michelle Obama: Wow, Ethan, great moves, keep it up, proud of you! Ethan: You might be wondering why I’m dressed up like a trendy asshole. Well, the answer’s pretty simple, I’m doing a video about will.i.am. Ethan (voiceover): Years ago, we made a video about will.i.am’s new smart product, the ‘Pulse,’ which was supposed to compete with Apple’s smart watch. Interviewer: What do you like to call it? will.i.am: Well, it’s not a watch. One, it’s not a watch because watches don’t…have SIM cards. Ethan: It’s since been hailed as one of the worst products ever made. Reviewer: It’s called the Pulse, and it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever reviewed. Ethan: We made our video about the Pulse joking about the concept, but there weren’t many reviews available at the time, and now I’m having SO much fun in going back over it. Look at this integrated typing on this tiny screen, it’s giving me anxiety, I’m having a panic attack watching this lady try to type three words on this thing! [metal background music] Interviewer (in background): What do you like to call it? will.i.am: Well, it’s not a watch…one, it’s not a watch because watches don’t… have SIM cards. And it’s not a smart watch…it’s a, it’s a, it’s a new paradigm, Ethan: But, that’s enough about will.i.am, love him as we do, bless his heart, we’ve come across a new tech item, a new smart item, that is TAKING the world by storm. It’s called ARING. Not just a ring, it’s ARING. (hallejuah, hallejuah) They just took “a,” and “ring,” and put it together. It’s a ring. (or, ARING?) So ARING, is a smart ring, made by Whynot. That’s the company name. Why not? I love that they’re not even convinced [confident?] in their own company. Why not? Whatever. You want a ring? Whatever. Why not? I mean it’s essentially a “smart ring” that sits on your finger, it’s MASSIVE, by the way, it looks like a prop from Dr. Strange, and if it can’t open portals to other dimensions and times, then I’m not sure it’s worth it. But maybe it does that, maybe it does that and more. So, here they have the trailer, that went on their GoFundMe campaign pages let me jump into this and see if I can possibly understand why this ring was a flop. Even the phone sounds like a stroke victim in this commercial! Why does the phone sound like it’s deaf? So this was the #1 listed feature on their GoFundMe page, that the ARING can find your phone! And that to me is, is really revolutionary, I mean I’ve never had any assistance finding my phone when I’ve lost it, I mean I’ve never thought to call it. Actually I would just call it. I would just do that, I would just call it, probably. What is HAPPENING here? Why is the dialogue so strange, I feel like I’m in a fever dream! Why are their voices so weird? Male actor: hEy bAbY… dO yOu kNoW tHaT i CaN cOnTrOl ThE lIgHtS fRoM mY pHoNe? Female actor: Oh ReAlLy YoU cAn- Male actor: (cutting her off) yEaH iT’s VeRy CoOl, LeMmE sHoW yOu 😉 The voiceover is so bizzare, how did they achieve that, and they’re like talking over each other! It’s so strange! How do you do th- how do you make simple dialogue so bizarre? Apparently Tommy Wiseau’s getting into the smart tech game ‘cuz I haven’t seen dialogue this bizarre since ‘The Room!’ Johnny: I did not hit her, it’s not true, it’s bullshit, I did not hit her, I did not! Oh hi, Mark! This is so…strange, the, the voice is like ASMR. Female actor: And it could also adjust brightness, right? Ethan: You can hear their lips smacking in your ear and shit, I feel like–is this really a commercial for ARING? Or is for like sentient robot slaves? (Kill Bill siren) I feel like this guy’s a robot slave and the ARING’s just a distraction, dude! Ethan (voiceover): Death to all humans! Male actor: (slowed pitch): Wow, Amy, you’re so amazing! Ethan: Damn, this really fucked this robot’s hair up, dude. They gave him the ‘fuck my shit up, fam’ special. You could’ve gave him any fresh look, why’d you give him the eurotrash ‘fuck my shit up, fam?!’ This robot butler hasn’t had the firmware update yet, to know how to use his iPhone 7, he doesn’t have the technology, doesn’t have the update. So, he fumbles around on his phone like he’s never used a smart phone in his life, as she swoops in with the ARING, Female actor: Furious 7. Ethan: And gets pro on his ass. Ethan: You’re out of more than Coke, you robot fuck, there’s nothing in your refrigerator! Looks like there’s never been anything in your refrigerator! Ok, first of all, he clearly finished writing it before she even came into the room, and second of all, Amy, fuck off, let this guy live his life, dude, get out of here with your stupid ring, man! The dude can live his own life! Johnny: You’re tearing me apart, Lisa! Ethan: You know, my favorite part about this function is that this is a futuristic item, you’d expect a little “Buy Coke” to order it on Amazon, or something where it would appear in your room, for example, let me show you what the future actually looks like. Alexa, buy me Coke! Amazon Alexa: The top search result for ‘giant [censored] beads’ is hot and cold reusable- Ethan: What, stop- Alexa, stop! Alexa: Did you want me to order ‘horse penis?’ Ethan: What? Alexa, stop! Alexa: Did you want me to order ‘stop?’ Ethan: …No! So as you can see the future is way more advanced and interesting. There’s a whole big world- Alexa: …order ‘giant horse cock?’ Ethan: Stop! Alexa, what are you- what is wrong with you? Alexa: I can’t order ‘giant horse cock’ so I’ve added it to your shopping list. Ethan: That, that looks so convenient and graceful, I’d love to be able to do this for every little thing I do on my phone. Taipei 101 map. Ooh, another perfect example of real human exchange. It is not me that is smart. It is the ARING. I am a stupid American dumb white woman. It’s the ring that is smart. Goodbye. Have a good day. She’s a robot now. You know, after watching this commercial, I have no idea why the ARING wasn’t successful, you’ve invented robots. Just to advertise this ring, that is a real impressive feat. Well, you know what, sometimes you just gotta stick with the tech that works. Alexa, could you please buy me ARING? Alexa: The top search result for ‘BDSM gag ball’ is gag. Soft silicone ball gag. The beginner’s gift for BDSM fetish sexy bondage restraints. It’s $11.50 total. Would you like to buy? (Whynot?) [realizing sigh of acceptance and Ethan’s innocence being drained from his body; not through his mouth after this purchase] Ethan: I’ll be sticking with what works. Thanks for watching, guys. Alexa: Did you want me to order ‘I’ll be sticking with what works?’ Ethan: See ya next time. Alexa: Did you want me to order ‘See you next time?’ Ethan: No, Alexa! [ending song] sorry if you didn’t like the gag joke. this took me two hours; at least give me that; papa bless [ending song]

100 thoughts on “What is this AMAZING Tech Product?”

  1. Thumbs up if you want ARING PRO to restart their gofundme campaign D:

    Interview with Casey Neistat ►https://goo.gl/p1jiUf

  2. this is one of the most bizarre product ads I've ever heard. It's like they got Asian voice actors to speak English over the European actors XD is it to cater to westerners or what? because its pretty off-putting

  3. If I was that guy in the ad and she comes with the "I've added coke to my note book". I'd would turn around and be all: "Bitch, you had better step the fuck off. I'm getting pretty sick of you trying to make my ass look dumb".

  4. Ethan you got the wrong Alexa
    it keeps ordering the things I want
    I keep getting coke and baby wipes sent to my home

  5. I don't have aring but thanks to this video I do have a ring in my Amazon basket lol. Thanks for that

  6. Instead of a ring; a necklace or earring would've been better but the Creator's probably liked the sound of Aring too much to think it through ?

  7. Until the ring and phone gets stolen.
    And the thief can go in the house with no troubles…..LOL

    I am not so worried about technology……
    Pen and paper wil stay around.

  8. Thet talk like hila, like its not their first language, a lot of judgement coming from dough boy over here

  9. guy in this advert after the woman adds coke to her list: "cool, so fast"

    any other guy in reality: "look lady…I was going to go down the road and buy you a coke, you really didn't need to put that on your list….also, we're struggling with food money enough as it is, did you really have to spend our money on that stupid ring?"

  10. There's nothing in the refrigerator because these are AI that you can't tell apart from real humans. First, Aring. Next, dominate the human race.

  11. They have South African accents, that's why they sound a bit off. But the way that they talk to each other is very unnatural as well. And the product is very dumb lol

  12. Ya I really want a speed ball in the morning it’s a must to start the day right !

    Alexa call Bolivia for coke and Dominican Republic for a z of uncut columbian brown pure white till water hits it then it’s New York’s pick me up and down speed ball excellence find this and the new stamp suicide and dead man wLking in the Tonkin square park area and surrounding streets depending on 50 behavior enjoy your time closer to death then you can ever get and have a good or better then avererage chance of survival if your arm starts to get large blisters in or near injectionsited just fucking shoot more your a junkie what the fuckfidyiu expect a non toxic product that’s not very similar in smell and action if not inserted into a vein with no lose into muscle tissue if your a crappy shot with your works or for you newbitches I’ll be filming animal fucking wives next week just ask for big buster the doggie raised by the Jeramy family it’s a lie herself isn’t a real Jew it’s a fact that he is really from Italy near the short end of the island of immolation mountain or etna’s gonna blow you but with a bit of tooth and magma involved

    Back to my hrlpspeedbslling get a vain or your arm melts as deep as a golf ball junkies call them a cocaine and heroin storage pouch that us actually a new way serious junkies get there compressed speed balling sets into there yearly stay in the Superman for persistence in speed ball usage is at mage our love of the most racially equal fix legal it’s a marriage of the live of heroin with the power and auditory ekiibg with a Doppler combined imagine the felling of complete care tree time mixed with the fraitrsin of weird audio Doppler effects being the very first and most safe stage if you reach the tunnel vision point or you are unable to say I’m going to grandnaulsesure about soon so just FYI guys a little help but th hot dust buddy liver is to buddy talking to lovely sucking Sandra and is yelling Tom your not foaming at your pie hole don’t be a bitch what you can’t fix like a man no more faggit Tom wakes up as he is being lifted by a dump truck and nearly gets trucked and teased into a hunky modern artists attempt useing real Julie idiots not all exusers are like this I my self live my my creed live fast get as high and feel life that life cNf ever give you live rushing on rusty needle runs and pimping out your wife pays your bills and some

    Welcome to 125 th street ottom of the stars tony is your furT new friend he says I got fish scale and Dominican hero cento percent Puro security Fabio Mets wuesto merdaccio ditto Erna busboy lavoro pushing daisies dead boy welcome to your pop popopoppppop we endorse this dope because we use the dope we sell and that’s saying a lot that no other high grade snack cracks white huh posed in crystal or flake fish scale style yellow as a yellow submarine or a mercury dildo in the early days he had a band stored inside his gaped ass Cason’s
    pure no dental or tranquilizers just our best nature
    Coke and dope with a eight mmg added for extra dope rushing power with our magic substandard dlaudid

  13. Call 2033 823 get your fix and quick is to slow for my needs tec 9 mean I’m cutting the line guckyou punk you wants text a cop or see if I got the stones you got the answer I will ! But it’s over now fhcjtoh all and such a sick skut it’s easy and well worth that easy money and you even get a free belly everyday I only worry about your gem th with a dust of all or mustky sodium !

  14. I was watching this in my room and when you yelled Alexa to buy baby whips my stupid ass Alexa (which I have never used once, and honestly forgot about) starts asking if I want to put baby wipes in my cart. so while you are yelling at your alexa to stop im yelling at mine to stop and then it asks about lube. im dead XD

  15. My fucking Alexa picked up on everything Ethan said. Her sound level was too low for me to stop her in time.

  16. I think it wouldve been way funnier if he said yeah go ahead to everything alexa said.
    Should i buy bdsm gag ball?
    Yeah sure why not.

  17. The people in the ad sound like if Alexa and the google translate guy tried to impersonate someone else's accent

  18. What a fucking weirdo.i can get over the accent,but what the shit is up with the euro mullet?did he go to the barber and just ask him to fuck him up?

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