Yo it’s been six months, since we’ve last heard from ya boys Moe and THIS IS ETHAN (THIS IS ETHAN!) And I have no idea where they’ve gone there is a deep, deep, bitter hole in my heart… without Ethan Bradberry, in my life… and even though he does still tweet occasionally pictures like this of which my heart flusters for him… and I always respond because I do love you Ethan Bradberry (THIS IS ETHAN!)
This is Ethan too and these Ethan’s love each other, I do miss you. This was the last video they posted, “Can I run train on you prank” Can I run train on you, it’s such a brilliant well conceived prank it’s wonderful, but the sad reality is, for many pranksters on YouTube today, that the views are running out. I mean, SoFlo jumped ship, Moe and ET they just fucking disappeared Coby Persin, where are you at? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? all the great memes dude what happened to the pranksters? They were the life blood of this channel, where did they go? (I’m Ethan Bradberry! Berry berrry berrry berry berry…) I have a really interesting little theory about where these guys have gone, and I want to invite you guys along. They’re killin’ it, on YouTube, but you just don’t know it. and I think you might enjoy, a little surprise from ya boy Ethan Bradberry who’s still there, but you just don’t know it. [Kill Bill sirens] (THIS IS ETHAN!) Spiderman and Frozen Elsa! You guys have probably seen about it, you probably heard about it it’s the weirdest fucking shit on YouTube, gets like a billion views, if you look at like the top gaining channels of the last week, 20 of them are all Spiderman and Elsa weird ass sketches. I went into the fucking lab, I watched this shit, on quarter speed for you guys, look who peeps out the fucking door right now. That’s fucking Moe ET! I’m going full CSI enhanced, there’s Ethan Bradberry laying on the floor without his mask. I don’t know why, but wait, it gets even weirder, pause it now. They’re in Coby Persin’s house, this is Coby Persin’s play button Coby Persin is involved in the Spiderman conspiracy, how deep does this go?! In one 5 second clip, we have unveiled this whole fucking scandal! My fucking CSI skills are so insane, y’all better just be start calling me Batman. Do I look like Batman? And now that you know for sure it’s them, that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind, it really brings a new light to this, whole series, and when you watch a scene like this one here, you just can appreciate how actually bizarre it is as we see Hulk de-clothing, de-robing, little tit grabbing there, a lot of feeling happening there like here, they’re playing with each others nipples, now hes getting naked, guy’s how is this not gay porn? I don’t, he just sniffed his balls he literally just put his nose to his dick and took a smell and he said “yup, it smells good.” Tell me how this isn’t gay fetish porn. then you can appreciate, truly how strange this world is that we live in. Now in a video we made, 6 months ago, I said, “rock bottom” I called them goombas, I made fun of them, I said this is the rock bottom. “These goombas, would go try to emulate the Spiderman vs. Elsa craze. This is what rock bottom looks like, I feel bad for those guys” Well, I double checked with them recently guys, and I’m fucking confused most of all, to say, that, they hit, 80 million views, last month they got more views doing the Spiderman and Elsa shit, in one month than they probably have on their whole YouTube channel. Rock bottom?! These guys are KILLIN’ it! We’ve never had anything close to 80 million views in a month. Those are some PewDiePie numbers dude that’s some Spiderman-Elsa numbers, god damn! I mean, firstly, and mostly, I need to apologize to them, and congratulate Moe and ET on there success on YouTube. You finally got off your grandma’s couch, you can take the plastic off the couch now. This isn’t a bit, he’s being very careful about that curb as to not scuff up his $160,000 Audi. Spiderman, you are not very modest. That is not very incognito. What happened to fuckin’ jumpin around on webs dude? How much money these guys are making! That’s like $300,000 of cars right there Dude these guys have one crazy month and they go and spend every single fucking dime, on these two goofy ass cars. Are you guys paying your taxes? I mean the math doesn’t add up. How do you afford all this shit? Watch the next episode when Spidy goes to prison for tax evasion! What do you think they say they do for a living when they try to pick up chicks in those cars? WHAT?! Am I fucking tripping balls? How do we go from Frozen Elsa to straight up mid gay porno? I knew those guys had a close relationship but god damn dude Moe and ET? Anyway, I mean, it’s pretty normal stuff other than the little couple ass shots and a little, gay porno. They’re just out here doing their thing and wait, the fuck is Spiderman doing? The fuck is wrong with you guys? Why is Spiderman raping the air? I’m not sure these guys should be around children. “Ok, let me try, aww” Dude I just looked up a Bentley, this car, which has this whole custom rainbow, shit show here. It starts at $180,000 These guys spent every single Spiderman and Elsa dollar on these cars!! And meanwhile, he’s going to clubs, trying to pick up chicks, they’re saying “what do you do for a living” he says “Well let me just explain, here.” “What does that mean?” they say, he goes “well, it’s not exactly gay porno…” “but it’s pretty much as close as you can get, without actually having a man put his penis in your butt.” “How well does it pay?” they ask, and he says, “exactly as much as it costs to buy this car, I have $0 in my bank account.” You know what the curse is Hila? When we have kids one day, our kids are gonna fucking love this shit. They’re gonna watch, specifically Moe and ET’s channel, they’re gonna watch that shit on repeat for hours. and when we turn it off they’re gonna cry, and then we’re gonna be like “I get it now, I get it.” (Heh heh heh heh) [Yet more strange laughter] [Distressed sounds] Okay, Joker just cast a spell on Frozen Elsa to augment her tits, am I the only one concerned about how overly sexuallized, these fucking children’s shows are? I act like “well, oh these children’s shows…” No, it’s Moe and ET, they’re fucking perverts. “What happened?” [gasp] “No way!” “Wow!” “This is cool!” “Yay!” Ok, alright, alright, she’s like “Ok enough dude that’s actually my tits now.” like “I don’t have shit covering it, Spiderman you actually just sexually assaulted me on camera, that’s enough” “Please don’t touch me, my little sister’s here, this is getting weird, you do not pay me enough for this shit.” “This is actually a sex crime that was filmed on camera.” I mean I feel like I’m wasting my time on this channel, we could be making like way more money. Doing something else, I feel like, Hila, turn that shit off, I feel like this is a fucking waste of time. Just shut it off, I got an idea dude. SPIDER-ETHAN: Here dude, c’mon, stop fucking around let’s make some YouTube money, here. What do you think? I got you the whole Frozen Elsa shit. Hila : I don’t want to wear this. Ethan : Sometimes, you got to do things you don’t want to do for YouTube money, ok? [Music : “The Farmer in the Dell” nursery rhyme] ~The farmer in the dell, the farmer in the dell~ ~Hi-ho the derry-o, the farmer in the dell~ ~The farmer takes the wife, the farmer take the wife~ ~Hi-ho the derry-o, the farmer takes the wife~ ~The wife takes the child ~ [Music pauses] Elsa, what the fuck did I tell you about interrupting my cupcake time? ~The wife takes the child~ ~Hi-ho the derry-o, the wife takes the child~ ~The child takes the nurse~ [Thumping music stops] Oh shit, someones at the front door. Who is it?
IRS Man : The IRS! IRS Man : We saw the cars out here, ok? I’m Steve from the IRS, you haven’t been paying your taxes. Those aren’t my cars, I swear. “Steve” : We- The neighbors have been calling us all week and saying they keep seeing, a pink Spiderman driving his gold Bentley everywhere. That’s a $200,000 car, is this yours? You haven’t paid your taxes on this, on this car, have you? You haven’t paid taxes at all. Do you have a pink Spiderman costume in there, sir? Ethan : [whisper] Holy fuck, we are so fucked. Shit. So, Hila, how did you enjoy that? Oh, shit, what is this? Lootcrate! What a good timing. “Steve” : You haven’t paid your taxes on this, on this car, have you? You haven’t paid taxes at all. This video was sponsored by Lootcrate, they’re a monthly subscription service, who send you a box of loot, every month. Next months theme, is magic and includes some sick ass Dr. Strange gear. If you’d like to get next months magical loot crate, be sure to visit the link in the description. lootcrate.com/h3h3 use the coupon code “h3h3” for 10% off. Thank you so much for watching, thank you Moe and ET for showing us the true meaning of brotherly love. “Steve” : I’m Steve from the IRS, you haven’t been paying your taxes!