The Outrage Barons | The Facepalm Five: December 9, 2019

It’s December 9, 2019 and it’s time to
review five of the most outrageous, infuriating, or just plain baffling things that have happened
lately. It’s your Facepalm Five. Let’s count ‘em up! 1. Mayor Pete is fucking up. Hey, you know who a lot of people like? For some reason? Pete Buttigieg. He’s the mayor of . . . South . . . Fork? Bend. South Bend. The fourth-largest city in the state of Indiana. And he’s running for president. Was the mayor of Fort Wayne busy? Ahh, maybe I’m being too hard on Mayor Pete. After all, the fact that the pinnacle of his
political experience is being the mayor of a small city doesn’t mean he’s a bad candidate,
necessarily. Barack Obama had served in his state legislature
and was in the middle of his first term in the U.S. Senate when he was elected president. So, maybe Mayor Pete is like that? A charismatic, game-changing visionary capable
of motivating millions of young voters to support his bold and inspiring plan to change
America for the better? Eh. I don’t really get that from him. I’ve watched him in all the debates and
I can’t really remember anything specific he’s ever said. And as far as his policy proposals, they seem,
you know, fine. Better than what we’ve got, for sure, but
pretty middle-of-the-road. Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez even accused him of
repeating Republican talking points in order to promote his plan to lower the cost of going
to college. And I see her point – Pete’s excuse for
not supporting free college for everyone is that it might “turn off half the country
before we even get into office.” That kind of pre-emptive goal adjustment,
done under the guise of political pragmatism, is familiar to a lot of us who remember the
push to pass the Affordable Care Act, and how Democrats seemingly gave up on some of
the more progressive proposals to reform the health care system before the fight had even
really begun. Pete’s also had problems attracting Black
voters – last month a poll of likely voters in South Carolina found that less than 1%
of Black voters supported him. And just recently he’s come under scrutiny
for the money he’s been raising from wealthy donors, as well as the three years, from 2007
to 2010, he worked for McKinsey, a multi-billion dollar consulting firm that has done contract
with for Immigration and Customs Enforcement these last few years. The McKinsey thing could be a huge deal or
wind up amounting to nothing, depending on what Buttigieg did there, which we don’t
really know because he signed a non-disclosure agreement and can’t talk about a lot of
it. So until we know what the deal is there, the
most troubling bit of Mayor Pete related news to come out lately has been his history of
volunteering for the Salvation Army. As hopefully everyone knows by now, the Salvation
Army has a history of anti-gay and anti-trans activities, including lobbying against anti-discrimination
laws here in the U.S. and around the world, and failing to provide adequate services to
LGBTQ people in many of their shelters. Pete Buttigieg, who it just so happens is
gay, has volunteered with the Salvation Army every year for the last five years. As Tim Peacock points out in this article
for his website, Peacock Panache, if Mayor Pete wanted to show his support for a charity
that supports the less fortunate, there are numerous organizations without the Salvation
Army’s history of anti-LGBTQ bigotry and abuse he could have chosen to work with. His choice to support the Salvation Army instead
could be read as being part of his determination to be the kind of progressive who doesn’t
scare the conservatives. Which prompts me to ask, what the hell good
is a progressive who doesn’t scare conservatives? Especially when we haven’t even had a single
primary yet, and there are still multiple better options in the field? The two candidates I’m the most excited
about this time around are Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. They’re also the two candidates who right-wingers
seem the most scared of. That’s not a coincidence. 2. Republicans pretend to be outraged after congressional
witness mentions Barron Trump. Of course, Mayor Pete and his bell-ringin’
ass isn’t the only Democrat who’s been fucking up lately. Let’s not forget the Democrats on the House
Judiciary Committee, who held their impeachment hearings last week and committed the unforgivable
sin of calling a witness who made a passing reference to Barron Trump, Donald Trump’s
youngest son. In response to this, the White House Press
Secretary Stephanie Grisham tweeted, “Classless move by a Democratic ‘witness’. Prof Karlan uses a teenage boy who has nothing
to do with this joke of a hearing (and deserves privacy) as a punchline. And what’s worse, it’s met by laughter
in the hearing room. What is being done to this country is no laughing
matter.” Reminder: that’s a person who works for
President Donald Trump, and has described him as a “genius” in the past, complaining
about what the Democrats are doing to this country, because they called a witness who
publicly acknowledged the already widely known existence of Donald Trump’s 13-year-old
son. So, who was this witness and what did they
say that was so terrible? The witness was Pamela Karlan, a professor
at Stanford University, and she was referring to remarks Donald Trump made recently where
he seemed to be saying that he thought Article Two of the U.S. Constitution gives him the
power to do whatever he wants as president. Karlan pointed out that, actually, there are
many things a president can’t do, and as one example she pointed out that the Constitution
bans titles of nobility, which means that while Trump can name his son Barron, he cannot
make him a baron. And that’s it! That’s all she said. That’s what Grisham, and Melania Trump,
and Mike Pence, and a bunch of other right-wing shitheads are pretending to be outraged about. Laura Ingraham even tweeted that Karlan’s
line was a cheap shot – because I guess, what, it’s out of line to observe that his
name is a homophone of a noble title he’ll never have? Or was it the part where Karlan demonstrated
that Trump is an authoritarian ignoramus who doesn’t know or care a goddamn thing about
what the Constitution says that was really upsetting to them? I bet that was it. 3. Nikki Haley doesn’t know what the Confederacy
or the Charleston church shooting were about. Speaking of right-wing shitheads, last week
former Governor of South Carolina and Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley was interviewed
by Glenn Beck – there’s yet another right-wing shithead for ya. Haley talked about removing the Confederate
flag from the South Carolina state house following the shooting spree carried out by Dylann Roof
at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston in 2015, which killed nine Black churchgoers. She said Roof had hijacked the Confederate
flag, which up until then had stood for “service and sacrifice and heritage.” She also accused the media of rushing in and
trying to make the Charleston shooting about race. She also claimed, hilariously, that “we
don’t have hateful people in South Carolina.” But she was the governor – somebody must
have voted for her. Anyway, it turns out the Confederate flag
has been associated with racism since even before that shooting way back in four years
ago – the Ku Klux Klan and other hate groups have used it as a symbol for decades, and
it was also carried by armies that fought for the Confederacy, a white supremacist slave
state that went to war with the rest of the country to preserve the right for white people
to own Black people as property, way back in the 1860s! It also turns out that you don’t really
need the media to flood in and make a shooting about racism when the victims were Black and
the shooter was a white supremacist who said, after he was arrested, that he was trying
to start a race war. The whole thing about racism, it’s kinda
there already. Nikki. 4. George Zimmerman sues the family of the teenager
he killed. Speaking of racists I wish would go away:
all of them? Yeah. But specifically, George Zimmerman, the man
who murdered unarmed Black teenager Trayvon Martin in 2012. He’s back in the news again because he’s
decided to sue the Martin family and the prosecutors who brought him to trial, for damages in the
amount of $100 million. Zimmerman is represented in the suit by Larry
Klayman. If that name sounds familiar to you, you might
be remembering Klayman from that time he sued Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and a bunch
of other people for allegedly starting a race war, or from that time he tried to have Obama,
who is a natural born American citizen, deported, or from that time he sued Joe Biden after
his YouTube channel was suspended, which was just like a month and a half ago. He sounds like the perfect attorney for a
wannabe-cop/turned-murderer/turned-grifter like Zimmerman, really. The suit alleges that the defendants “have
worked in concert to deprive Zimmerman of his constitutional and other legal rights.” Which is true, in a way. The Martin family and prosecutors didn’t
deprive Zimmerman of any of his constitutional rights following his arrest and prosecution,
but they were trying to convict him of murder and send him to prison, which would have deprived
him of some of his rights, for a few years. But that seems only fair, what with the murder
he did and all. Apparently some of Zimmerman’s lawsuit is
based on evidence presented in a documentary titled The Trayvon Hoax, directed by a man
who has also made movies promoting conspiracy theories about Barack Obama, Paul McCartney,
and Elvis Presley. In other words, this is a serious lawsuit
by serious people that we should all take very seriously, and not simply dismiss, as
hopefully the court shortly will. Now it’s time for the segment devoted to
some of the other things Donald Trump has done recently to disgrace the presidency and
embarrass and/or endanger the United States and the rest of the world: 5. The Further Misadventures of Lord Dampnut. Please keep in mind as always: the following
is not a complete list. He spoke to troops in Afghanistan on Thanksgiving
where he announced that the Taliban were interested in negotiating a ceasefire – that’s not
true, no one in the Taliban or the U.S. government seems to know anything about it, Trump just
made it up so he’d have something to tell the troops on Thanksgiving. He’s the president, by the way. After months of publicly complaining about
how unfair the impeachment process has been, and how wrong it is that he hasn’t been
able to participate, Trump’s White House Counsel sent a letter refusing an invitation
from the House Judiciary Committee to participate in the impeachment process. The rules for the impeachment inquiry grant
Trump and his attorneys the right to examine evidence and cross-examine witnesses, but
so far that hasn’t happened; Trump apparently prefers to whine about being excluded. He’s the president. He attended a NATO conference in London, England,
where he used a series of appearances with other world leaders, including Canadian Prime
Minister Justin Trudeau, French President Emmanuel Macron, and NATO Secretary General
Jens Stoltenberg to insult NATO and the European Union, bicker with Macron over how much of
a threat ISIS still represents, contradict himself over whether he supports protesters
in Iran, call House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff “a maniac” and “a
deranged human being,” compare the effort to impeach him to impeaching someone for taking
an orange out of the refrigerator, and demonstrate yet again that he has no idea what climate
change even is by reducing it, as he nearly always does, to an issue of air and water
quality. Later, after Trudeau, Macron, and British
Prime Minister Boris Johnson were recorded laughing about Trump during a reception at
Buckingham Palace, Trump called Trudeau “two-faced.” Forget Trudeau, Donald – Boris Johnson was
right there joining in, too. Johnson denied it later, because he’s a
shameless liar, but it’s right there on video. And if you’re Trump, it’s gotta sting
a little to know that even Boris Johnson, the British version of you, thinks you’re
a shithead. His administration formalized a rule change,
due to go into effect on April 1, that could kick nearly 700,000 people off the Supplemental
Nutritional Assistance Program (SNAP), or what is often called simply “food stamps”
– this while Trump surrogates continue to attack Democrats for pursuing impeachment
because it doesn’t put food on the table for working Americans. And, during a small business roundtable at
the White House, he announced he had directed the Environmental Protection Agency to look
“very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms,” because he’s
heard that people have had to flush the toilet 10 or 15 times, or had poor water pressure
from their faucets and showers. He also complained, “The new bulb is many
times more expensive. And I hate to say it, it doesn’t make you
look as good. . . . It gives you an orange look. I don’t want an orange look.” That’s the spray-tan, not the light bulb. So, I know those quotes make him sound like
your grumpy grandpa – “what’d they do to the toilet, why’d they change the light
bulbs, why can’t things be like they were 50 years ago?” – and, I mean, that’s
exactly who he is, he watches Fox News and then just regurgitates whatever shit people
are complaining about on there, just like your grumpy grandpa. But, and I hate to remind you all of this
yet again, he’s also the president. He’s the president. Why is he still the president? That’s five. Speak out, act out, resist, look after each

47 thoughts on “The Outrage Barons | The Facepalm Five: December 9, 2019”

  1. The thing that pisses me off about the whole "the 'stars 'n bars' ain't 'bout racism" argument or the statutes of Confederate generals; even if they really weren't about or symbols of racism or hatred or any of that (which they totally are, let's not make that mistake), they would still be memorializing the attempted rebellion against the United States.

    Had the Confederacy won and immediately abolished slavery and given equal, truly equal, rights to blacks (they never fucking would have, but let's just play this out for a second) then latter rejoined the United States, then you might have an argument. But as it stands, this would be like if we'd lost the Revolution and remained part of the United Kingdom but a century later started erecting statues of the rebellious terrorist "general" George Washington and wearing Betsy Ross's flag. It would be, and this should be, unthinkable. It's fucking ludicrous! Sorry, rant over.

  2. 1) Nikki Haley absolutely knows what the Confederate Flag is and she knows what that Church shooting was about. She is reaching out to all the anti-Black racists and letting them know she considers them important for whatever political career she will pursue. 2) Kicking people off of SNAP and announcing it at Christmas: now, there's the real war on Christmas! 3) Klayton and Zimmerman are pure evil, and I am so sorry for Travyon's family to endure this foul man. 4) Last week was like a thousand years long.

  3. @Steveshives I have a favour to ask of you good sir. In the new year I plan to start producing my own content. My first live video will be on January 5th I am asking for as many people I can to sub to me as possible. I ask for your personal support. It would mean a lot to me of you would sub to my chanel. I will be talking about Star Trek most ofton on my chanel but I will have veiws on Political issues in Canada and the Untited States I will have Views on Space X (Elem Musk) & his 900 trillion $ Mars Traiforming program I have opions on everything. And I want to share them with you tube. Would you be willing to sub to my chanel? I am not looking for just another sub but someone I could make responce videos with and talk back and forth with on a subject. Would you be willing to do this good sir?

  4. That toilet thing is probably just Trump's version of Lady Macbeth's "Out, damned spot!" don't you think? He keeps trying to flush his crimes down the toilet, but no matter how many times he does that, they keep coming back to haunt him.

    Well,… no, that's unlikely, I guess. Trump would need to have a conscience then, huh? So I suppose he just eats too much greasy food.

  5. Also, why the hell would a gay man work with an anti-gay organisation? Either he's a fucking moron or he's not really gay, frankly.

  6. "Why is Trump still the present?" A question I ask myself everyday I watch the news. The sooner he is gone the sooner this country will be respected again. I hope. There is a saying be careful of what you wish for.

  7. As for Republicans being 'outraged' about mentioning Baron Trump.


  8. Mind you, some idiot parents are so overprotective of their children that they'll fly into an outrage over nothing. I remember I rhymed my cousin Darren's name with Baron idly. My aunt, who isn't as smart as she thinks she is, screamed an actual insult into my face and said "how do you like it?" Fuck you, bitch. I was TEN YEARS OLD at the time.

    Some people are just idiots and spiteful shitlords. Including members of my own family.

  9. Here's my contribution to global culture for the day: another anagram for Donald Trump is Torn Dump Lad.

    Make of that what you will…

  10. On what planet was third-way Democrat Barack Obama game-changing in any way other than his coalitional electorate?

    Because as I recall, he shored up corporate protections, bombed brown people using fucking robots, and took years to “evolve” on a topic like gay marriage.

  11. Trump pointing to Article 2 made me laugh a hell of a lot.
    Did he not notice the line requiring the president to faithfully enact the laws of congress?

    Of course, that would mean he read it… we know Trump doesn't read.

  12. Trump named his son 'Baron' in all likelihood because it was the best way for him remember the boy's name. When you have kids in your 60s and with dementia around the next corner, why not? For a rich guy who is as crass as he is.

  13. Trump is still president because the american people let him. Hong Kong's people are willing to die protesting for their freedom. What is America's people doing while their country falls.

  14. Mayor Pete is a disaster, he's taking dark money from millionaires. and he did not fix or even address the rampant racism in the Police of South Bend.
    I want gay presidents and congress members, but not this one.

  15. Pete Buttigieg a gay man, who volunteers for the Salvation Army should be critiqued because the Salvation Army has been anti-gay?

    Buttigieg isn't my 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th choice, but unless he volunteer to do hold a "god hates f**" sign, volunteering is a good thing. Helping people is good.

  16. I saw that title and thought this was going to be about the bonkers conspiracy that I heard on a late night radio show about Baron Trump being a time traveler because apparently there was a 19th century book about a time travelling kid named Baron Trump.

  17. Loath as I am to ever agree with that person, he's not wrong about Justin. I just care more when he's two-faced about domestic issues than I would about wounding the fragile ego of that conman turned threat to humanity.

  18. Steve, to tap into your love of Trek, consider a "Mirror, Mirror Trump" episode. Give him a beard, have him speak in proper sentences, be aware of the Constitution, etc. as a parody to point out how we live in the dystopian universe. 🙂

  19. Steve, while we both know that Trump may be the single most dangerous fool in our country at the moment, he may have competition for obsequiousness: Mike Pence. I urge you to check out George F. Will's latest column, keyword: "oleaginous." Will's rhetoric is often well above the average, but in this instance, it is positively stunning.

  20. "Minor child should be kept out of politics"? Let's all recall the joke Rush told about the child of Bill Clinton: "The Clinton now have a new white house dog". (Then Rush shows a picture of Clinton's 14 year old daughter. All the republicans thought that was so funny! Now we have a president, Trump, who is actually deliberately kidnapping and murdering children as an act terrorism. And we are supposed to be upset because someone suggested that Baron can not be a Baron? Republicans, you can all go to Hell!

  21. Minor correction — the Stars and Bars was not carried by the Confederate Army at any point. The Confederacy had three flags during it's ignoble existence, and that wasn't one of them. What we today think of as the "Confederate Flag" was in fact the Second Confederate Naval Jack. So please bring that up the next time these a-holes say that they're just flying it because they're proud of a history they can't even get right.

  22. I was most interested in your Buttigieg peace, and I commend you for the facts because I have check them all. but I truly feel in my heart if we want to beat Trump 100% we need to pick a middle of the ground Democrat. The supporters of trump are so influence by the Kool-Aid that they will agree with him on everything even if he said he was Jesus reincarnate. Joe is not the answer Warren is not the answer. Who can beat Trump after his impeachment? That's who I will support, and for now it's Mayor Pete, I see no one else that can win the right-handed votes.

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