Thank You Notes: Bitcoin, Curly Fries

-Running a bit behind today. I thought
if you guys wouldn’t mind, I’d just like to write out my weekly thank you notes
right now. Is that cool with you guys?
[ Cheers and applause ] Hey, James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing
music, please? [ Soft piano playing, laughter ] It’s so peaceful. -Pensive.
[ Laughter ] -Thank you, people running the New York City Marathon
this weekend. Now we can stop hearing about
how you’re going run a marathon and start hearing about
how you ran a marathon. [ Laughter and applause ]
-“I heard it went great.” -“I hit a certain point where
I didn’t think I could do it.” [ Laughter ]
“What was that?” -No, that’s great. That’s great. -“Yeah, I just didn’t —
There was no way, man. I was like,
‘There’s no way I can do it.'” -Right.
-“But I did it.” -Oh, sure, yeah.
-“Yeah.” -That’s great.
[ Laughter ] -Thank you, Bitcoin, for
turning 10 years old this week, which is the exact amount
of time it takes for someone to explain to me
what the hell Bitcoin is. [ Laughter and applause ] -“It’s an interlocking — You got three
or four blockchains, it’s impossible to break.” [ Laughter ] -Thank you, “Trick or treat,
smell my feet,” for escalating way too quickly. Wait. Wait. Wait. Whoa. Whoa.
[ Light laughter ] You don’t like that one? Wow, they didn’t like that one. I think that’s a funny one.
Trick or treat, smell my feet. -Yeah, “Trick or treat,
smell my feet,” it’s like, “What?” -Yeah, you took it
to a different level. -Hmm. -This joke will never see
the light of day. [ Sad piano music playing ] [ Laughter ] ♪♪ ♪♪ I’m having a great time.
Thanks for — [ Laughter ]
-Come on! Don’t be like that. You can do it. -Thanks for inviting me. -Oh, come on. Did you write that joke? Did you write
that thank you note? That was yours, wasn’t it?
-What’s that? -People liked it.
They really liked it. I mean, we shouldn’t put it
on air, but they loved it. [ Cheers and applause ]
-They did? Thank you, guys!
-Yeah! [ Bob Seger’s “Old Time
Rock ‘n’ Roll” playing ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Music stops ] [ Music restarts ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -Mark! [ Music restarts ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Music stops ] [ Laughter ] It’s too late, Mark. [ Laughter ] -Oh, he dropped.
-Oh, he dropped it. -Oh.
-Oh. [ Audience “aws” ] [ Sad piano music playing ] [ Laughter ] -Now we’re back
to where we started. [ Laughter ] -That was the night
when the saxophone dropped. Hot sax.
-They found it? What, they found it?
They found it! He’s got it! He’s got it! He’s going to give it to him
right there! He’s got it!
Hey, he’s got it! [ Bob Seger resumes ] ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Music stops ] [ Laughter,
microphone feedback ] [ Note-writing music playing ] Thank you,
daylight savings time, for giving us
an extra hour of sleep. I think I speak for everyone
when I say that extra 60 minutes is totally worth waking up
in complete darkness for the next four months. [ Cheers and applause ] Thank you, Apple, for releasing
70 new emojis this week. Finally, a simple way
to let people know I just saw a swan
with a lacrosse stick lotioning up a raccoon
on a skate board. [ Laughter and applause ]
Finally! Thank you, beef jerky,
for being the only time we’re like, “a bag
of loose dehydrated meat from the gas station?
Sign me up!” [ Laughter and applause ] Loose dehydrated meat. Thank you, curly fries for not
being called perm-tatoes. There you go, everybody!
Those are my thank you notes!

71 thoughts on “Thank You Notes: Bitcoin, Curly Fries”

  1. 4:00 Was he right about that? Like let's say he normally wakes up at 7am and the sun is coming up. When we fall back an hour, the sun coming up will be at 6am. By the time he wakes up at his normal 7am, it'll be filled with light out. Correct? Or am I wrong?

  2. Yeah, we're all getting concerned about our Champagne James. Tonight Show, please let us know that he's doing okay!

  3. You…don’t actually put time back, you put clocks back…you sleep longer, so it’s actually light when you wake up. I think he means early Spring?

  4. After doing this dozens of times you’d think they’d have it in the budget to actually put the cards in the envelopes by now ?

  5. He was totally thinking that the trick or treat joke would be great and silenced the audience before even it gets laughing.

  6. What do you think it would take to convince all the Chinese to bring millions of Mexicans into their country until the Chinese themselves were a minority, to intermarry with all those Mexicans, and to call anyone racist who refuses to do so? Impossible, you say?
    But this is exactly what is happening to White people in ALL White countries and ONLY White countries. It is White genocide.
    They say they are anti-racist, but what they are is anti-White.
    Anti-racist is a codeword for anti-White.

  7. 3:54–4:07 — Actually, waking up in complete darkness is what happens when daylight savings time BEGINS, not ends.

  8. Alexa play
    Questlove on SAXOPHONE

  9. I love how Quest gets the sax, starts playing, but realizes right away he's holding the air sax wrong and switches hands ?

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