BEST OF Sascha LKW Fahrnuenftig (Angry German Truck Driver) #Part 1/2


I’m Calmmm… What’s wrong right now? Why? What are you doing there? She is so stupid! I don’t signal for just for fun! Man, that’s pissing me off real good again… Ouch! *honks* For fucks sake! You stupid idiot! Dude! Is somewhere a loose screw of yours?! *groan* They almost forced me off the road… or we’d have crashed. One of the two. *groan* *My truck just warned me because they braked so hard* These people are stupid! Are we… Dude! Are you sleeping, or what? You really are a stupid piece of shit! I’ve never seen something like that before. Dude! You should have seen that. But I have it on camera anyway. LIDL is cheap (a discounter in Europe). *groan* People, people, people… That is a joke, isn’t it? *groan* Then she said: “Where are you from?”. *honks* You truly are a piece of shit. For fuck’s sake, this guy is all over the road. Dude! Idiot! You stupid moron! *laughing* Jeez, jeez, jeez… Come on! *Doing racing sounds* And then reeve with 2 meter
clearance. I’m pissed off… …about this fucking detour! 40?! (km/h) Everything on the left side is like speeding! Why? What is that? Man, you’re going with 75 (km/h) on the middle lane! What is… what is that? He actually just… The Russian… the Belarussian actually just pulled into my lane with 3 meters safety distance. Dude, what’s gonna happen now?! *sigh* *replay sigh* Dude! *groan* My God! You’re so stupid, the signs started appearing from like an hour ago! Also I almost had to watch you drive into that barrier! You dumbass! You stupid idiot! Now it smells rubber a bit. *honks* [some very weird audible] “I’m sorry I came so fast.” But she’s not even paying attention to me anymore. Then I put on my clothes as quickly as I can and trot out. The “all you can fuck”-banner wafts above my head. Just perfect. I really put them in their place! It will be fucked back. I sit down … Oh, cool. *laughing* Nice! Now he showed me a lesson, I almost said. *clapping in hands* Great idea. *groan* Now… What’s he doing there? *groan* This fucking asshole! This stupid piece of shit! Now he’s driving off the motorway! FUCK OFF! … tested and yay, it’s working, I put the bumper on the truck again. Whoa. This maneuver over there is most certainly not a legitimate one. What are you guys doing there, seriously? You guys are all mentally deranged. All of you, all of you, all of you! Look at this … … now he’s driving … Jeez… Drive on! *groan* People, people, people, people… *best lorry driving skills ever* Man, man… Oh man, motorcycles! Holy shit. You’re not right (in the head) Man, man, man, man, man… Dude. CB Radio: You can move over to the emergency lane, there you can pass through. Whoa! Oh! I ran that over *sadly said*. *two motorcyclists meet* *laughing* Engine damage! Eeeengine damage! That’s some serious amounts of smoke coming out of his vehicle. … but only in bursts. My oh my, something’s very wrong with his car. Sometimes it’s smoking and then it stops and then… What should I connect? *groan* That is…that’s interesting here. *damaged Bumper* Herre! HERRRRRREEE! Man, here are driving ghost drivers! … Yeah, bite me! I got spooked pretty good! Yo … … you have a nut loose, really. I don’t even know what to say to that. You stupid prick. There are no cars, why is he walking on the emergency lane? I haven’t seen a car with a breakdown sitting there. For fuck’s sake … They are all sleeping again… Dude… your horsepower weren’t enough here, huh? GPS: “Follow 11 kilometers.” *audio changed* *traffic light* Why, why, why and for what … … and why? Hello?! What are you doing there? Are you dru-…? Where’s she driving to?! My goodness. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! What the hell, what’s going on here? (GPS) Attention: Danger ahead. *groan* People! People, drive! That sucks. *honks* My God! You hobo! How many meters? (truck distance) I don’t know… …8 meters. What, what, what…? What is he carrying on his bicycle? What’s that? What’s this man carrying? Holy shit. *laughing* People… What is he doing? … you’re a spontaneous one, huh? *brights flash*=”pulling in” *blinks left and right*=”thank you” Make sure you don’t break the indicator control. You are not being serious! You are not being serious! You shitty idiot. For fucks sake. Yeah, fuck you too. Dudeeeeeee! *coughing* Please just drive on! Just drive! Oh, you’re so dumb! You’re so dumb! Man, man, man, man, man! Those people all purposefully pull in with 5 meters distance in front of me! Well, where is your lane, huh? Bunny… Bunny! *groan* You mad… *Rabbit survived* Oh man! Drive! You dumb piece of shit! *honks* Sorry, leaned onto the steering wheel. Will you take a look at that… How fast was he? 132 km/h! In a construction zone with a 60 km/h speed limit. Boy, oh boy. His swing as a kid was standing to close to the house wall, seriously. [Saschas Mind] A car with brights
and indicators on. Boy! *honks* For crying out loud! Cunt! *replay “Cunt”* *replay “Cunt”* *replay “Cunt”* *loud groan* Why? Man, man, man… For fucks sake… Boy, boy, boy… Well hello there… Oh, you asshole… Just drive away. Hey! Wanker-shithead… *groan* *honks* You stupid prick! What is that? A 3-wheeler? Cute machine. Boy, boy… There’s no need to be surprised then that so many moped drivers end up dead in a corner… Dude. That was as bright as daylight. Heeey! Dude! That was a little too close, wasn’t it?! He just waved me (=”sorry”)… yeah… it’s alright. Whoa! [Sign says “Caution – vehicle swings out”] When you’re drunk, huh? *Evil laugh* *groan* Man! [Saschas Mind] Just a sec… *distance director beeps* Oh, this fucking truck! Man… Uhm, hello?! Man, man, man, man… That was a real shit move again! Eh? That’s some nice lighting spectacle, isn’t it? Swiss! Swiss! Swiss! Swiss! It’s magic! Hello, hello…? Well… Holy shit! People, accelerate already! ACCELERATE ALREADY! Oh, people, people, people… That’s a bold move. Hello? *distance director beeps* What? There are people here?! Are you guys crazy? Come on, accelerate, for god’s sake! Drive on already! Now he’s taking a look at how far he’s… Dude, drive! Oh God… A hedgehog, a hedgehog! I wonder if it survived… [it did] *beautiful singing from Sascha*: “Don’t run away! It’s starting soon.” Oh, no. Come on. …but still… Are you crazy? *groan* Fox, you stole the goose! (german version of “A Season for Murder”) *groan* What’s wrong with them!? (GPS) “Follow the left lane in 3 kilometers” Man, man. What a shithead again… such a slowpoke… I’m bursting to pee! [“I gotta piss like a horse!”] So, I’m starting… …uh, now they’re driving…. Dude! Yeah, just steal each other’s lanes, why not… HEY!!! stupid wanker! Oh, guys! Are you kidding me? *honks* *groan* That’s called the “blind angle”, dear fellows. There was no way the truck driver could have seen him. Hey… *honks* Dude. What are you doing there? Let me in, you ass crabs face, you fucking dumb idiot. Huh? What’s wrong here? What are you doing there? I have no words for that, I have no words for that. He is stubbornly looking ahead… *honks* Yeah, and now he even tried to force me off the road. What a fucking wanker, I’ve never seen anything like this before. Hellololololo? Well, I guess we’re only just gonna make it past them. …shit… For sure he was too fast, what else? *groan* …man, man, man… [Saschas Mind] If the other had wanted to turn left, they would’ve crashed… *honks* …Okay. *My water kettle fell over again and flooded the whole truck, but I was too tired to be bothered about it.* The traffic lights came out of nowhere again! Are you a dog? Are you 2 dogs? What, what, what? What? Eh… What? Eh. What? Eh. Yeah… How fast are they going? 23 km/h. I think they could run faster. Should I honk at them? You guys are pretty chilled out, huh?! Don’t you know I wanna go home? Come on, go home! I hope you live here next to the bus stop on the right. You little scallywags. Now… …stay there. Coooooool… *3 meters safety distance* For fuck’s sake… What can I say to that? Asshole-alarm. Just accelerate, that’s all… Or brake, one of the two. Now he suddenly can accelerate. No! You’re not serious! You’re not serious! Not serious! *groan* *honks* You’re the moron of the century. That guy has some shitty style of driving… Only 60 km/h allowed. And he’s spreeding through world history like the stupid idiot he is. Like a moron, just like in a movie. With a tablet on my lap I would be slow too. What are you doing there? Just drive ahead. *groan* They’re swerving like crazy here… This month I have so many videos to upload I can’t possibly keep up with… Drive ahead, you can drive here, that’s no problem, just drive ahead. Radio: We live and we die. We! Now that’s some dedication! Someone rammed a barrier and the car driver stops and lifts it up again. Finally a guy with brains! What does he want? And for what in the first place? Bravo! They’re all stupid, arent they? [Saschas Mind] Now he squeezes himself through there and… Until today I don’t know how he managed to fit there What the hell are you doing? I thought he’d drive into their backs. Finally some action again! What are they doing now? What… what… what? *groan* Oh, yeah, bravo! Run, bunny, run! I’ll finish you off, I’ll finish you off! (in Berlin dialect) *laughing* With his throat in the lake. *strangle*

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